Oh… the happy little me.
I’m a free soul.

Vodka Lime anyone?

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin (1937 - )

The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.
Robert Jackson (or examinations!)

The happy little me…
Things to do during this one month break
1. Learn to drive.
2. Go shopping.
3. Buy the Robbie Williams CD.
4. Buy ‘Walden’ and ‘Walking’ by David Henry Thoreau
5. Prepare for college.
6. Go parties.

The busy little me…

Excuse me mates… I’m a little more expressive than usual…
Cheers…
I will never ever have to do an additional mathematics question ever again.
I will never ever have to know the result of a reaction between to reagents.
I will never need to remember how the frog jumps or how the fish breathes.
I will never have to fork out money to pay for marker pens and paper work for the class.
I will never have to see Madam Lam ever again.
I will never have to sit in that little stuffy room in school.
No carrying books from block to block.
No stinky science labs.
No horrible canteen food.
No uniforms.
No assemblies.
No prefects.

There is no accountability in the public school system - except for coaches. You know what happens to a losing coach. You fire him. A losing teacher can go on losing for 30 years and then go to glory.
Ross Perot, The Dallas Morning News, March 11, 1984



I’m a free soul. (for now at least…)

Margerita anyone?
Cheers …

[[ mood ]] bouncy

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Friends… they have this funny way of crawling into your life.

In the entire life cycle of a human being, teenage stage is the fun, memorable, and some time the wild part. In this teenage stage, the we experiment with everything without caring about the consequences. For most people, the life prior to the teenage stage is the most exciting part because there are no worries; every thing is fun. When the teenage life begins, most of their behaviors change while adapting to various habits. They follow good and bad behaviors as the result of influences from their parents, friends, teachers and the society they live in. These behaviors and societal norms combined with enthusiastic nature make us do various things.

For me, I’ve stumble upon an opportunity to meet some of the most amazing lads in school. I use to wonder if I’d meet the right people, the right friends, the right bosses and the right husband. Now, I’m actually beginning to believe that I only meet the people I’m meant to meet.

I went to a party yesterday and for the first time, I felt like I am going miss all these parties and friends. Yesterday was the last day of my schooling life, last day of being the monitor, last day of wearing a pinafore and last day of sitting on the field reading biology. I have always complained about the times at school when I was the monitor of the class.

When I was elected in 2003, there was a certain fear that I won’t be good enough for the job. I thought of handing in the resignation letter a couple of times especially after what happened during our EST classes. One week into the job and I thought I’m going die. Sound a little too blown up huh? At the end of the year, I told myself that I would not be re-elected again the following year and even if I actually did get re-elected, I’d not take it.
As the hand of fate starts playing his tricks, I was re-elected. I declined but to no avail. I did not want the job for a couple of reasons. One of them was the fact that Madam Lam was right about the class electing a rebel to lead the class. Another was the fact that I didn’t want the responsibility. The other would be the fact that a monitor does not get a lot of respect and recognition from other people. It’s not a lot of work but there are times that I wonder if it’s actually worth it.

So, yesterday, when my monitor work finally comes to an end, I felt like this part of my life is finally coming to an end. I probably will not have people come to me for class lists, marker ink, brooms, plastic bags, class attendance and class funds again. So, for me to have the opportunity to lead a whole class of great lads was definitely something else. My class was filled with more than enough high profile students, people with various responsibilities and diverse qualities. We had the assistant head prefect, two school debaters, and a couple of athletes with immense talent, top students and club presidents.
It felt like I was in this elite group in school.

I must say that for the first time in my two years as class monitor, I have to give you my sincerest apologies. I felt like I have put the class through more trouble then necessary. I made you listen and go through sessions of torments from Madam Lam. I felt bad that we still do not have a class party but that’s not my fault because you people NEVER clear your debts.

Thus, after yesterday night, I lie on my bed and reminisced the times I’ve spent in school. And because being the monitor of one of the best classes in school was something really exceptional for me, I thank all my classmates for always being outspoken and not judgmental. My personal appreciation goes out to my class teacher for sticking up for me and all subject teachers for your continuous effort.

I think I’m getting a little too touchy already.

So… friends and fiends, mates and dates … (just to make it rhyme)
I guess we are going to go through various confusing stages as we make the transition from an adolescent to an adult, which involves love, fear and conflict. It is my sincerest hope that you find success and happiness along the way.



Cheers..
To a great end of our schooling years.


Another shot of Tequila?

[[ music ]] Graduation - Vitamin C

5 comments

Life is so jam-packed with surprises that I’m beginning to think that it’s too volatile and unpredictable for our own good. The September 11 incident was a good example. How could we possibly foresee something like that to happen? The World Trade Center was crushed into pieces by what seemed to be an unidentified flying object from nowhere, killing hundreds of civilians and the Pentagon to some extent destroyed. Since then, the world has been quite a … unpredictable place. Nowhere on earth is save. What follows up to what was supposed to be one of the biggest mishaps after the world wars was the Madrid train station bombing, continuous terrorist attacks in Russia, the war on Iraq, live and lives taken away, families shattered and the rate of soldiers involved in this big confusion increased daily. What was peace and order is now chaos and mayhem. What was the American dream is now nothing but a distant vision. We turned on the news day and night but we don’t want to hear a word they say. Outside the world is breaking down but we don’t have a clue what we have to do.

In addition to that, our lives are so filled with irony that we barely notice how ironic it actually is. Just like how the blind can see more clearly than those who have close to perfect vision. Or maybe, how so much is said when no one is talking. And, how we don’t know what we’ve got until they are gone. Like how we would never have noticed how fragile life is until death happens. Like how we try desperately to get someone out of our memory box only to realize their consistent emergence at the back of our heads. Like how two people are closest when they hug and yet they can’t see each other. Like how money can buy almost everything but not things you truly necessitate such as an extra liver or bone marrow or loyalty and friends. Like how you always know how important the people around you are but never showed it. Like how you know you are wrong but wouldn’t make an apology because of your bloated head. Like how the little things and not the big ones that shows you care.

In a world like ours, there is little we can do to change it. We know that danger is at every corner and all we can do about it is to carry a can of pepper spray in case and emergency really did occur failing to realize that it merely provides protection at all. Yet, precaution is needed. We cannot allow our children to go on the streets without warning them to be careful of snatch thieves, suspicious stalkers and bad people lurking on the streets. At times, I start to wonder the cause to all these paranoid actions but never found the answer. The fact is there are questions in this world that never really has an answer. Like how we always ask if God will be there for us when we need him. Well, now we even question the existence of an almighty power above us just like how Dan Brown did in his explosive novels. Like how we always raise the question about the reason Mr. Blair agreed to involve Britain in the whole Iraq crisis that could potentially jeopardize his own political career. And like how we constantly ask why are so few people like Oprah Winfrey, Mother Theresa and are big charity corporations just a big ploy to make us think that the world isn’t so bad after all?

I know of people who do not care what happens around the world. I also know of people who laugh at the sight of what shown on the television during the 7 o’clock news. I know of people who drive after they had shots and shots of tequila and I know of people who don’t know that America has launched and attack on Iraq. I know of people who say news and newspapers are boring and they don’t read them. I know of people who say it’s ok if pilot whales and bottlenose dolphins float to the beach and die. I know of people who say it doesn’t matter if kids in Dhafur are dying. I know of people who never knew their own prime minister. I also knew of people who do not realize the existence of associations such as UNICEF and CARE. I know of people who have never donated a penny for a good cause but instead splurge all their cash on designer items.

In actual fact, there are a lot of things we don’t need to care about and there are a lot of other things that we don’t have to know or give a damn about. The problem is, there are too many people who do not care, do not want to know, do not give a shit do not feel the pain and sorrow of other people simply because they themselves are nowhere close to such a situation. There are many of us who has never endured troops and foreign soldiers walking in and out of our house as they wish. And we have never been through the likes of bombs dropping on top of our heads or planted in the ground without any caution. We have never tolerated deaths of so many loved ones that we are numb to the pain and personally would wished to be kill as well. In fact, I think we over indulge ourselves in luxurious surroundings, designer items, posh country clubs, first class flight seats and lavish sports cars. We know nothing of what other people feel and go through. I’m not saying I do because I don’t but at the very least I know what is happening.

It really is nothing to be proud of if you have just bought a new cell phone. There is no point in being a pompous bastard pretending you know everything there is to know about to know about a Valentino dress. It’s no big accomplishment if you had just spent thousands of dollars at Prada or Armani. I’d much rather you used that money for a better cause such as donating it to a charitable organization.

All in all, I have got very little idea of what the world is going to be like 20 or 30 years from now. What I know is that how the world is going to be like in the future solely depends on us. I implore to all to be more conscious of what is happening in the world, spend on what is necessary, kiss your loved ones before you leave the house, see the doctor if you feel sick or pain and donate money to a charitable organization. Because, you’ll never know what will happen next. What appears to be a normal stomachache can turn out to be a serious internal bleeding in your abdomen. What appears to be a normal dinner with your family might just be your last one. Life is so unpredictable … it’s almost out of our control.
Live life the way it was meant to live – like everyday is the last, like every second will never return, like every moment will be cherished in the future and like every experience only happens once.

Cheers.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Khian, all the best mate. Love you.

[[ music ]] Where Did You Go - Boyzone
[[ book ]] Bridget Jone's Diary - Hellen Fielding

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Reds Through After Magical Night
Wed 08 Dec, 11:09 PM


Liverpool staged a miracle comeback to beat Olympiakos 3-1 and qualify for the last 16 of the Champions League.

Things looked bleak when they trailed 1-0 at half-time needing to win by two clear goals.

But three memorable strikes in a special second half ensured a fairytale finish for the Reds and a place among the elite in the knockout stages.


Liverpool almost got the perfect start when Milan Baros had the ball in the net after just two minutes.

But referee Manuel Gonzalez ruled it out for a push on the covering defender.

Three minutes later, an unmarked Sami Hyypia headed a Steven Gerrard corner inches wide of Antonios Nikopolidis' post as the Reds started the match in top gear.

Rivaldo eased the pressure on the Turkish defence when he won a free kick 35 yards from goal.

But then he wasted the position with an over-ambitious shot that flew high into the crowd.

Liverpool came even closer after 20 minutes when Gerrard's wickedly bending free kick was touched on by Baros' outstretched leg and flew against a post before the Greeks hammered it clear.

Minutes later Baros was inches away from turning in Xabi Alonso's low cross and Liverpool pressed relentlessly for the crucial goal.

But totally against the run of play, Liverpool went behind after 26 minutes.

Rivaldo slalomed his way past two tackles before being tripped by Hyypia and the Brazilian World Cup winner stepped up to curl a 25-yard through a small gap in the wall and past a stranded Chris Kirkland.

Liverpool badly needed an early reponse in the second half and they got it from substitute Florent Sinama-Pongolle.

Kewell did the ground work with a foraging run to the byline and the French striker side-footed home the cut-back from six yards.

Unlucky Baros was again responsible for a second goal being disallowed just after the hour mark for illegal use of the arm in the build-up to Gerrard's firing past Nikopolidis.

Liverpool withdrew a tried Milan Baros and his replacement Neil Mellor set up a grandstand when he put Liverpool ahead nine minutes from time.

Mellor had a shout for a penalty and Kewell should have done better when Nikopolidis spilled a Gerrard cross.

But Gerrad had the final word drilling a stunning half-volley past Nikoplidis from 25 yards as time ticked away.




Woohoo...
CHEERS...

[[ music ]] Liverpool FC - You'll Never Walk Alone

1 comments

Boredom.Tedium.Ennui.Languor.Lethargy.Stupor.Torpor.Monotony.

Yeap.. you've got it...

Therefore ..

I'm making a public plea to everyone to update their blogs.

Thank You.

[[ mood ]] bored

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I celebrate not the birth of the Son of God, Christ. I go not to churches. I buy not a Christmas tree for the holiday. I sing no Christmas carols for the event. I buy no presents for my family. I am neither a loyal nor a faithful follower of the religion, Christianity.

Christmas appears to me to be one of the most hyped-up events annually. It’s definitely more celebrated than Chinese New Year or Deepavali. I come from a multi-racial community filled with people of diverse cultures and traditions with more than one eventful celebration for each religion annually. We put up the banana leaves when it’s Deepavali and our Christmas trees when it’s Christmas. We put up with the deafening and earsplitting sounds of drums and light firecrackers during Chinese New year and have open houses filled with Malay food during Hari Raya Puasa. I’m fortunate enough to grow up in such an environment that I celebrate almost every other religions’ holiday.

But this time around, it’s Christmas. And the whole of Malaysia (technically) celebrates together. And here I am writing my first Christmas special update. ** Thunderous applause**

Christmas…
Why is Christmas such a big deal? What exactly are the twelve days of Christmas? Who exactly is this reindeer named Rudolf? Why do you have holy draped over the mantel of the staircase? Why is mistletoe hanging over the front door (and … almost everywhere else)? Why are the poinsettias on the hearth? What about the fruitcakes? Oversize socks hanging around the house? Why do I keep hearing same songs over and over again (silent night… Santa is coming to town? …)
Christmas is certainly one holiday filled with questions.

Unlike in the older days, Christmas is now much more commercialized. For a start, the traditional colors of green and red are now replaced by a more futuristic and glamorous glittery colors such as gold and silver which of course has very little to do with Christmas. And, we now have over decorated Christmas trees such as the one in Kuala Lumpur City Center, which now stand, at about five stories high instead of hanging little hideous pieces of ornaments made by our children at school. We barely have groups of carol singing kids walking around the neighborhood anymore.

Yet, with such modernization of our Christmas holiday, it remains to be one of the most popular and special events to most people. For a start, Christmas is my personal favorite and I also personally ask for two Christmas days a year (but … that would mean Christ being born twice). For some, it merely is a nothing-special holiday. For others, it’s a day to gather the family, say our prayers together and simply catch up on things. For the more religious crowd, it’s a day to remember the birth of Christ, one of the most influential historical figures of all times. It’s not only a holiday; it’s also a holy day.

I cannot say how special Christmas is to everyone because it holds a different meaning to different individuals. What I know for sure is why I like Christmas. Unlike other celebrations, Christmas is more peaceful and serene. No loud drums. No ear piercing music. Only slow, soft carols. And, of course, during Christmas, people serve turkey not chicken. Turkey taste far better than chicken. Wine. Red wine. You’re allowed to drink more than usual during Christmas.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Spend your Christmas wisely this year. Take time off to go to church and pray and sing you carols. Kiss your parents. Hug your friends. Embrace your children. Exchange presents openly. Make a generous donation to the poor. Eat your turkey well. Drink merrily. For this is almost what Christmas is about … to me.

Merry Christmas to all.
Cheers.


P/s : What exactly are the 12 days of Christmas?

San : I want my cookies.

[[ music ]] Silent Night
[[ mood ]] content

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In response to what a friend said …
I wrote a long entry about Christmas because I know the higher probability of me involved in a profession that needs me to crack my head and crap more than I already can in comparison to a profession that does not need my to crap as much on a single issue or point. Thank you for stopping by.

DRIVING LESSON 1: HOT! HOT! HOT!

Date: 18/12/2004
Time: 10a.m.-12noon
Tempreture : Torrid ... simply torrid.
Location: City Learning To Drive Center (I think!)
Instructor: Mr. X

All right, it was hot and it was hot. Just plain hot. Not the instructor by the way, it was the stuffy car and the weather that was hot.
In fact, the whole center has no hot guys. Yes ladies, I am with you. No hot guys. Where the hell are they anyway?

I dealt with the gears, the clutch, and the hand brake the mirrors and some other parts of the cars, which I honestly have very little idea of what they are. You see, the learning part isn’t so fun due to the boiling point temperature inside the car. Scorching heat. (Clearly exaggerated.) I assure all of you out there that has not been into a Kancil without the air conditioner, you will later be able to clearly distinguish between cars are protected by the V-Cool thing and those that don’t.
I had trouble stepping on the clutch. Leg hurs from jogging yesterday.

My instructor…
Fairly interesting man I must say. I think he talks more than Mel and Yee San combined. Not that it’s a bad thing since I wouldn’t want an instructor who just sits there and stare at you drive when you have no knowledge of how the car actually functions at all. It’ll make you look stupid and being the supercilious person I am, I am not interested in looking stupid at all. He is moderately tall and he is dark. I reckon he is over 50 years of age and George Clooney looks far, far better than him (for those of you who has pampered yourself in the movie Ocean’s Twelve, you’ll know what I mean!). We talked about … well, actually he talked about his younger days, how he used to travel around half the globe, how other instructors teach, the obvious loopholes in the government administration and how thick his other students are (which I thought was not very nice since he could easily say the same thing about me in front of them which obviously I wouldn’t appreciate at all). And, interestingly, he listens to music. I have always had this misconception that older men cares very little about the finer things in life such as music and movies. He’s a Sam Hui fan. So, that isn’t all that fine after all, eh? He listens to Latin music! How many men his age listen to Latin music?

That’s about how the two hours passed us by. There was one thing he said that I nodded to instead of just smiling. He said that money hasn’t at all been one of the most important things in his life. He has enjoyed his life when he was younger by constant traveling and continuous learning. He also mentioned that no matter how much you know, there is always more to learn (like driving) and learning just never stops.
I like to learn. But not necessarily taught.
Arrogance! Sheer arrogance!

Interesting sights during the course of two hours of driving lesson includes the following:
· A family had a family picnic at the side of the road next to a drain.
· People learning how to ride a motorbike with no instructors.
· Hundreds of 17 year olds going for the undang course standing by the roadside outside the classrooms due to lack of tables and chairs and space.
· A young lady dyed her hair in stripes.


Yawn. (I woke up at nine today… must get back to sleep).

By the way, why are people ignoring my public plea to update their blogs!?

Cheers.
Drive Carefully.

[[ music ]] Bon Jovi - Always
[[ mood ]] yawn

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What happens if you just had a rude awakening to what is going to happen in the near future? (Sighs…) I have given some things a serious thought these couple of days.

1. College
College life offers me a lot more freedom than I necessarily need. I wait patiently for the times I’m going to spend outside our small little Ipoh. Yet, the lack of restrictions means I need to have better stewardship of my money. The freedom to go out till late at night and drink more than usual means you spend more money than you can afford. Certainly, at this tender age, I’m not looking forward to making ends meet every month. More problems? No tennis. Now … that is one BIG crisis. To have the slightest thought that I’m going to miss four of the biggest tennis tournaments in a year is excruciating. The thought of it at the moment is piercing my heart … and all I can do is write about how upset I am on this blog. For those who are not so familiar with the tennis scene, I’m talking about the Grand Slams. Australian Open. Roland Garros. Wimbledon. U.S. Open.
No Astro = no tennis. Painful … simply painful. Does anyone out there comprehend the sort of agony and misery I’m going through? Never mind the thought of no Liverpool matches during the weekends. Never mind the idea that I might not catch every F1 race (I think the results aren’t going to be too different) on the calendar. I am living in the same room with two other people who has no understanding whatsoever about sports what more the sort of throbbing pain I’m going to experience.
HELP!
My Grand Slams! My Lleyton Hewitt in action! My lonely thoughts about the results!
My empty life!

2. To write or not to write? What to write?
Yiling … please try not to deny the fact that you’ve been putting increasing pressure on me to keep this site up to date. Exactly why I’m pondering over what my next sentence is going to be! This is your entire fault!! Four days? What’s four days to you? !!! I’m going to make you watch the Sound of Music with me whether you can afford it or not (vicious growls) Cheers … J
Writing has never been my sphere of influence. I cannot write more than 4 pages of composition worth reading. My English teacher has openly complained about my inability to express what I feel and my inattention while trying to write. My debate speeches have been nothing but serious pile of misplaced words. So … it takes more than four days for me to figure out what to write especially with nothing out of the ordinary looking to happen. Unless of course you want me to write an essay about how Mr. Bush has changed the world and my views on the current condition of society, which I seriously doubt. In fact, if it weren’t for the invention of online blogging, I would have found no other way of putting my thoughts down. Hmmm…

3. Driving lessons…
#@!*&?!$#%*!*#@ … enough said !
I don’t think I can get my license before my college starts, which is going to be a problem to solve since my parents are quite keen on me learning how to drive. Plus, I have to take note of the inconvenience of going to and fro from Kuala Lumpur to Ipoh in a bus which usually take a unbearable 3 or more hours. My life is filled with things like this. Why can’t they just sort themselves out? More sighs…

4.Ignore me… I’m ignorant…
I think people have a slight problem of misinterpreting what I’m trying to tell them.
What does it mean when I say …?

a) I’ll see about that … (when asking me to go out)
I can give you 10 other 50/50 answers to your questions. Perhaps. Maybe. Possibly. I don’t know. I might. I’ll think about it. If I respond as such to your questions … it most likely means I don’t want to go and I don’t feel like going.
Apparently, peers who knows me enough that every time I say perhaps or maybe also means I’m too lazy to move out of the house. My energy level has shrunk to point zero.
This is a good tip.


My ignorance has caused many people problems. I am more ignorant than before. I care less about things than before. I need to get in touch with myself again. Focus. Focus. Focus.

5) I don’t think anymore.
The gray matter in my brain has not been put to use lately. It stays there in the skull waiting for the neurons to die off. Just the other day when I was at dinner with both Michelles, they both noticed I’m not so myself. I don’t talk like I used to. I have less awareness of what is happening. I didn’t even know what I was saying. Serious problem… serious problem… I think I should just talk less … as if my lack of capacity to make a long conversation isn’t a problem already. Do you see understand what I’m saying? You don’t? Even I don’t know what I’m saying. I told you there’s a problem.
I need a doctor.

[[ music ]] You Sang To Me- Marc Anthony
[[ book ]] Angels & Demons - Dan Brown

3 comments

Im in LOVE...
I'm so in love with The Sound Of Music...
Just can't get myself away from it (at the moment) ...

This is one of my favourite songs in the album.
Songs like this makes me happy

My Favorite Things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

(Repeat all verses)

Save me from Julie Andrews!
I need to buy the My Fair Lady soundtrack next.

[[ music ]] My Favourite Things - Julie Andrews
[[ mood ]] happy

6 comments

TrapT's Top 5 Online Journals

5. http://www.dahines.blogspot.com


4. sAy WhUt??:: Stuff retro_humanoid Can't Shut Up About~~>
http://www.tabulas.com/~retro_humanoid
Outstandingly witty writer with immense talents.

3. MiCh3Lle SeZ
http://www.tabulas.com/~PePp3rMiNt

2. http://www.tabulas.com/~jestyr
This one is a personal recommendation. Effortlessly addictive.

1. Friends, Romans, countrymen... What's for dinner?
http://www.tabulas.com/~Yilingl
This site offers an honest look into the writer’s life. This is one of the very few sites I have stumbled across with a writer that writes in complete sentences. Very truthful writer. The one site I must visit daily. Wise and bleakly funny...
A Good Read.

Cheers!
Happy Boxing Day!

[[ music ]] Sound Of Music

4 comments

Tidal Waves Kill Over 14000 in Asia.
Suicide Bomber Kills 9, Wounds 39 In Iraq.
Asia Shares, Currencies Slide on Tsunami.
Quake Hits Ocean Floor Near Australia.

The lasting I want to write on would be on the recent tragedy that Mother Nature has bestowed upon my brave little country. I fear that numbers will continue to rise to the already catastrophic death toll. My heart bleeds at the thought of it.
To think that I can do so little to ease the troubles faced my fellow countrymen (Malaysians) makes me feel worthless. All I can offer is my condolences to all those affected by this natural disaster.
God Bless.

I’d really like to divert myself from what has happened. I have seen and heard enough from CNN and BBC. Yet, I don’t seem to be able to focus on writing about something else at the moment. Maybe I should head off for another dose of My Favorite Things.
Amusingly enough, I find it to be quite effective!

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hmm ... I wasn't so upset about the whole thing until i actually wrote about it. Sighs...

For those of you who are still fortunate enough to be reading this ... praise the Lord.
Cheers.

[[ mood ]] grateful

1 comments

Questions … questions … questions… why can’t they bloody hell sort themselves out!?

In the universe, some stars make spectacular exits as exploding supernovas, their auras blazing across space. Others simply peter out, becoming what astronomers call dwarfs – faint points of light that slowly go dark.
Of course, we can all choose to offer the same stark choice of outcomes.

I’ve grown up wanting to be a supernova and not some small star that peters out. I’ve always knows what I want out of life and what I need to do to get there. Alas, it is when you grow older that you realize that what you need to do isn’t exactly what I want to do.

We had our dreams … I had mine… but these dreams can dissipate very quickly in the harsh reality of family expectations, economic situations and other circumstances. And so, we had to restructure these dreams, mould them around what was attainable and later mould ourselves to fit into those new dreams.
And many of us did just that.

Dreams? What are my dreams? What are yours? I’ve always known that I should be a lawyer not because I have the instinctive ability to kill people of with words and neither was it my seemingly not so sharp mind. It’s not my desired job. The best I can do is write a four minute debate speech and even at that, I’m not good enough to win enough debates. Although, admittedly, being a lawyer to me is far better than getting myself involved in things like accountancy or medicine. I’d much prefer a career with more freedom. A freelance photographer. A writer. A director. I don’t know what it is … yet.

Most of the time, many of us are puzzled with what we want out of our lives and what we think we want. Everyone wants to be rich. Everyone wants to own what Donald Trump own. Everyone wants the shimmering glitters of fame that Michael Jackson and Elvis used to have. Everyone wants to spend like Paris Hilton. Everyone wants to sing like Celine Dion or Julie Andrews. But, when we put ourselves deeper into our own thoughts, what appears to be what we have always thought we wanted isn’t exactly what we want.
When you don’t know what you want out of yourself, everything you do matters very little and you no longer feel like getting yourself on the right track to get your life back.
That was exactly how I felt for the past year. Everything just seems so insignificant to me and I’ve got no idea what to do with it. Hopefully, New Year offers new hopes!
I haven’t had the privilege to jumpstart a career doing something I really, really like. Unlike more fortunate people who get go choose a path they prefer rather than they should, I’m going to make up for what I missed out in the earlier part of my life although I’m very mindful of the fact that I’m considerably more lucky than a lot of other people (especially my fellow Malaysians that were thrashed by the waves of death). So, for those of you who has enough financial backing from your family and has dreams you are dying to fulfill … gather your guts and go on and take the path less traveled by because there aren’t a lot of other people that has the same opportunity like you.

In case any of you are wondering what I’m going to do to make up for the lack of opportunities during my youthful days … I’m probably going to take on a second degree after I’m 45. I’m not entirely sure if it’ll happen … but I know I can think about doing I really, really love without worrying about what other people think.


New year’s resolutions:
1. Keep the blog going.
2. Keep in touch with Tin and May.
3. Save money.
4. Study for my term examinations *which I honestly dread*.
5. Get my driving license.
6. Fuel my desire to succeed again.


Cheers.
Happy New Year.

[[ music ]] All At Sea - Jamie Cullum

3 comments

had quite a nice time listening to stories... especially the one bout beggers... its bout giving a begger in pudu raya 10 cents.. instead of being grateful, the beggar threw the 10 cents away and said ' BESARNYA 10 sen kamu, boleh beli 10 kuih'... lol.. funny.. beggers these days.. not to be bad, but i never give them nething.. they have legs and hands, why can't they just do something instead of begging? god created them to contribute something to the society and not to add burden to the society!

By puiyeen @ www.tabulas.com/~puiyeen which fueled the arguement below.


Pui Yeen
Dec 30th, 2004 at 09:26 AM
lol... i think u're getting me wrong. maybe i didn't say it clearly enuff. what i'm trying to say is tat i do not donate money to those begging for it but to charitable organisations..

TrapT
Dec 29th, 2004 at 05:38 PM
Contrary to pupular belief ... making begging a job isn't exactly much of a choice. It isn't exactly up to them to decide. Many other things play a role ... such as sanity, economy ... people who aren't willing to donate ... If they can't even have enough money to get a decent shirt and a shower ... How do you expect them to get a job?
If people are going to donate to churches, which are generally rich, why not give these people some money?

YilingL
Dec 30th, 2004 at 09:05 AM
TrapT: I agree with some points. I think people should only donate to those with disabilities eg. lost a limb/blind/mute etc but not to those who are still capable (full limb-ed people).
Some play nice music too. At least donate for the sake of appreciation to arts?!
Cheers?

Pui Yeen
Dec 30th, 2004 at 08:33 AM
TrapT: eh foo! do u actually think after donating they would actually find a job or watsoever?? look at the beggars around us now.. even 5 years later... beggers we see will still be the same beggers we have seen all this while. they would just beg for more. i would help in some other ways but definitely not donating money. donating money isn't the way... u dun really need a decent shirt.. look at those who pick up cans and boxes.. they wear dirty clothes too.. but at least they are trying to improve and working and not BEGGING! when there's a will, there's a way..hehehe

TrapT
Dec 30th, 2004 at 09:12 AM
puiyeen: Funnily enough ... how exactly do you help in other ways mate?!?
I believe in generosity. Plus ... if you don't donate .. will they get a job in the next five years ... so how exactly are you helping without helping ?!?

Dahines
Dec 28th, 2004 at 03:47 PM
lol..ok...was it in moral?i recall none,but not like it matters..omg,i'm crapping..need sleep

Peppermint
Dec 28th, 2004 at 03:11 PM
agreed. i dun believe in begging.
and dai, they stil can do stg instead of begging. can't live on pity alone. at least have some DAYA USAHA!!

Dahines
Dec 28th, 2004 at 02:51 PM
How about those handicapped ones?You know,those in Super K..erm,very very sad looking ppl..with funny eyes and stuff like that..you give them anything?Curious..that's all.

Pui Yeen
Dec 28th, 2004 at 04:22 PM
dahines: lol... i dun dai... i dun give them nething.. not even a sen.. i know i'm mean.. but well.. thats how we can help them actually by not pitying them.. kekeke

TrapT
Dec 29th, 2004 at 05:40 PM
puiyeen: Just to confirm with you ... you are mean!
Not donating does not mean you are helping... !

******************************

Well ... what can i say mates? I haven't been arguing for quite a while which totally reminds me of my debating days.

I'd be meeting the debate crowd in two days, maybe we can bite each other's asses off! Not exactly a very happy get together but ... heck .... I need to snap at someone and hopefully they'll bite back and we have a nastily nice conversation.

Cheers.

[[ music ]] Singing In The Rain - Jamie Cullum
[[ mood ]] crappy

1 comments

I’m in the middle of the night with something to write. So, I cannot possibly let this go or I’ll forget about what I wanted to write about.

Pronunciation: 'beg
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): begged; beg·ging
Etymology: Middle English beggen
transitive senses
1 : to ask for as a charity
2 a : to ask earnestly for : ENTREAT b : to require as necessary or appropriate
3 a : EVADE, SIDESTEP b : to pass over or ignore by assuming to be established or settled
intransitive senses
1 : to ask for alms
2 : to ask earnestly
synonyms BEG, ENTREAT, BESEECH, IMPLORE, SUPPLICATE, ADJURE, IMPORTUNE mean to ask urgently. BEG suggests earnestness or insistence especially in asking for a favor . ENTREAT implies an effort to persuade or to overcome resistance . BESEECH implies great eagerness or anxiety . IMPLORE adds to BESEECH a suggestion of greater urgency or anguished appeal . SUPPLICATE suggests a posture of humility . ADJURE implies advising as well as pleading and suggests the invoking of something sacred . IMPORTUNE suggests an annoying persistence in trying to break down resistance to a request .

Yes! I know you can get that from a dictionary. I’m just saving your time.

I know of people who do not donate to beggars simply because they think the beggars can stand up on their own feet and get a job to support their already miserable lives. I also know of people that do a lot of other charity … donating to charitable organizations but not willing to spare a single cent on someone that’s literally on their knees, with torn shirts and no food. There are also numerous people out there who are extremely selective over who to donate to; some only donate to beggars without limbs; some solitary donate to children and the elderly.
Perhaps, the people I have encountered are less concern about why these beggars are actually begging since they are in pretty good shape. They are competent enough to get a job, some has suggested picking up aluminum cans and they can easily work themselves up the corporate ladder. A lot of other people in the community also deem that there is no point donating to people who beseech when they can help the less fortunate.

Then again … my questions are, aren’t beggars also the less fortunate group of people in the society. Take India for example, beggars are everywhere. They chase you down, beg on their knees, and kiss your feet if necessary and you just brush them off aside. (By the way, it’s not wise to give away money in India … try sweets.) If people can donate to the Tsunami victims, Dhafur kids (which is desperately pleading for aid) and other research funds, I don’t see why people can’t spare a ringgit or two for the poor. People talk about the beggars being too reliant on our caring society. Yet, how caring exactly is our society and how many of us still donate to these people. I know we cannot allow people who beg to flood the shopping malls and the public parks but I also know that we do not necessarily know the sort of pain they are going through.

We can easily dismiss these beggars by saying they are capable of getting a job and it’s a waste of money donating to them but my question is who hires a beggar? We think we know what they are going through but what we can see is not what they are feeling. If there is any party at fault, I wouldn’t say it’s the beggars and neither would I say it’s our generous society. Perhaps it’s the government, perhaps it’s job opportunities or perhaps it’s the economy. What I’m trying to say here is that, we couldn’t possibly understand why our fellow countrymen would beg and why they are not getting a job.
What they are going through is beyond our comprehension.
We talk about wiping out poverty but have we done enough?
Why do we always have to put people that need our help into different categories?

All I know is it takes a person with unimaginable low self-esteem to beg. To have the sort of low sense of worth, in this case, a very, very low one to suck up to people, to beg on their knees, to kiss your feet, to worship you is unthinkable. We cannot possibly understand that until we’ve done it. I hate to say it, but I think it takes a great deal of courage before we decide to ask for help, what more begging for money or food.

I don't know. Perhaps, I’m not a fastidious person when it comes to donating to the poor. For me, there is only one kind of poverty. And I only know that the poor needs our help. I know there are very young lads begging and I know there are very old people begging. I don’t pick out the ones who qualify to receive help from me. I donate to people that I believe needs help. Whether it’s the Tsunami sufferers or the Dhafur children or beggars, I donate when I’m approached. I only know that it doesn’t hurt me if I spare a small portion of my money when I feel like it because I know I have done what I could on my part. Whether they use the money to buy food, get a shirt, find a job … matters very little to me.

The solution?
I suggest that the government relocate the commoners and get them jobs. They are helpless people that are dying for some attention. They are not too different from the Tsunami victims because they need equal help and attention. If the government can relocate them to shelters, get them jobs in our industrious country ... the problem might be solved. It's going to take time and it's going to take a lot of effort. So, if there is any party that can help change the situation, it's the government.

Cheers.

[[ music ]] The Sound Of Music

1 comments