"Hearken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell you the whole story. "
- Edgar Allen Poe, The Tell Tale Heart




I am an idealist. But, I like to think that all a director ever needs is a stage. A good director could make a flat stage work in ways three projector screens and a fancy stage set cannot. Of course, sometimes, even three projector screens, fancy stage sets, pre-engineered ligthing and sound cannot save a bad play with so very little creative effort.

Lessons learnt on watching E. A. Poe's The Tell Tale Heart @ KLPAC, 1st March 2007, RM 15

[[ music ]] Aretha Franklin - I Say a Little Prayer For You
[[ mood ]] tired

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"In time we hate that which we often fear."
- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra



Ambition is unhealthy. Apparently, history has it that Caesar was assassinated because of ambition. Or, was it just Shakespeare? With today's English law, Brutus and friends would be charged with murder under the Homicide Act 1957 - unlawful killing of a person in the Queen's peace - or, something to that effect. Mandatory life sentence, I heard.

Less than 24 hours before Criminal Law becomes something of a past attempt at glory. Something good has to come out of this. Something good better come out of this.

[[ music ]] Seal - Kiss by a Rose
[[ mood ]] blank

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"Here they talked of revolution,
Here it was they lit the flame,
Here they sang about tomorrow,
And tomorrow never came."
- Empty Chairs and Empty Tables, Les Miserables



There's a grief that can't be spoken ...

Sometimes, I wonder if the country's Independence came too easily. But, there it was - the Portuguese, the Dutch, the English, the French and the Japanese. You would think that after the trauma of having every other nationality which had believed they carry upon themselves a burden to protect the inferior, tread on us and left us scrambling like ants anticipating the exterminator, we would have learnt the meaning of freedom and appreciate it for what it is.

Malaysia in the past is the equiavalent of today's Iraq. And, if you look at it, you'd see that the same people who used to think that they were all that hasn't changed. They still believe that God has entrusted upon them a severe and heavy responsibility of bringing peace. It takes a 5 year-old to understand that violence results only in more violence. If you fight fire with fire, you get ashes. Force is acceptable only to those who use it on others. America, unfortunately, is not even that. In fact, I find nothing more amusing than an American in uniform making a press statement on CNN.

But, I am not an American. And, I thank God many times that I am not an Iraqi either. In many ways, I am grateful and always will be that I was born a Malaysian. In many other ways, though, I wonder if we have taken the sort of liberty, freedom and independence we have for granted and would one day throw it away like a child with its candy wrapper. With a child, age is an excuse. With Malaysia, which is now almost half a century old, it is not.

I am a Malaysian. And, many times, I have proclaimed to be one with no sense of inferiority. Not because I close my eyes to its imperfection but I have grown up and have learnt to understand that your imperfections define you. It is easier to notice America's current failures than their past glory.

They rose with voices ringing and I can't hear them now ...

From the Government, I have heard only empty promises and seen many, many more empty skulls. The Parliament seems to be the place to gather all of them. And, the only way I could understand why the roof of the Parliament building is now leaking is because someone inside that building was the one who built it. There is sense in Spiderman's ' With great power comes great responsibility' or Shakepspeare's 'Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown' that Malaysian politicians today have failed to comprehend.

So, I am glad that I am not yet able to vote. There is comfort to know that people in the Parliament do not represent me. After all, there is only this many Samyvellu(s) one person can take.

Someone wrote that the newspaper reads like a long list of reasons not to live in this country. I agree.

Perhaps, we have forgotten about those who selflessly given up what they have to fight for what they believe. And, perhaps we don't remember how so valiantly some Malaysians have fought not only against towering foreign domination but also against their own fates. Perhaps, Tunku had it coming too easily. Or, we just aren't a very grateful lot. I don't know.

Being 50 is a big deal but it hardly deserves the sort of celebration it is getting if we have not moved on from where we were. But, I do believe that we have had it all too easy that we forget achieving our independence is only the first step to rebuilding a nation and not the last. We forget that we cannot, cannot stop there.

Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more.

[[ music ]] Les Miserables - Empty Chairs & Empty Tables
[[ mood ]] tired

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