"O life! thou art a galling load,
Along a rough, a weary road,
To wretches such as I!"
- Robert Burns, Despondency



I'm unhappy. And, I think it could be Land Law that's causing it.

Phases. You cross your fingers and hope they pass quickly. Tomorrow, you pretend, will be a better day.

Adversity will make you stronger, they say and tomorrow will be a better day.

But there's Land Law tomorrow.

[[ music ]] Don Meon - As We Worship You
[[ mood ]] sick

10 comments

"I won't grow up,
I don't want to wear a tie.
And a serious expression
In the middle of July.
And if it means I must prepare
To shoulder burdens with a worried air
I'll never grow up."
- I Won't Grow Up, Peter Pan The Musical


So, it's not the middle of July. But, the serious expressions are already there. There's a whole list of things to frown over. And, one must frown over them as some kind of indication that one is at least pretending to be serious with one's occupation. The theory goes (and I stand humbly corrected) that if you frown, the wrinkles stay. And, when one starts thinking, one would start frowning and that would only mean one would start having wrinkles. Quite a well thought natural proces, I must say.

If I have done the math correctly, then, it be safe to now dispel of any propositions of growing gracefully if there's no grace in growing. But, I don't count very well. Numbers don't always add up the way you want it to as the years go by. I live with my creditor.

It would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree,
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not me!

Following this line of argument, then, dear ol' Peter's bold proposition of never having to grow up seems the most attractive offer. I have heard him advocate his cause since we were children; he has stuck to his conviction and we went our separate ways.

Mr. Jackson, for me, was one of those sensible sods who understood Peter's simple 'think happy thoughts and you can fly' theory and had decided that climbing trees was not only not beneath his dignity but was one of those joys he must always have. Peter, however, had forgotten Tink's fairy dust when he was campaigning his cause to Mr. Jackson. So, Mr. Jackson took up the cause; he was quite troubled that he had to grow up - at least physically. One must fix what is broken.

'Cause growing up is awfuller
Than all the awful things that ever were.
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up.

I can't pretend growing up is not awful. Law School took away quickly that whatever touch of childlike-ness there was. You go to school, learn to be a parrot and recite a silly rule. Once you learn that your achievements are no longer measured by the height of the trees you climb, it's not so easy to think happy thoughts. So, maybe I did fall victim and have grown to conform to the realities which Peter had so adamantly warned me against.

But, there is no science to growing old or staying young. Res ipsa loquitur. It is the bleeding reality of mortality and most of us, for better or worst, are cursed by it. So, I believe in the myth of growing gracefully. That was the reason me and Peter decided to go our separate ways.

Once in a while, one still thinks a happy thought and hope to fly or climb a tree and hope not to fall. After all, if one would just confess, there must be some kind of irrepressible spirit of youth in the depths of the soul.

And ...

Never Land will always be
The home of beauty and joy
And neverty
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not me!

[[ music ]] Peter Pan - I Won't Grow Up
[[ mood ]] working

1 comments

"Nobody dies a virgin.
Life fucks everybody."
- Anonymous



Really. It does.

That's the grand theory. And, every other day, you ask God why it has to be you. And God, in his silence, asks why not?

Land Law ...

If I can learn to do it
You can learn to do it.
Pull yourself together
And you'll pull through it!
Tell yourself it's easy,
And it's true --
You can learn to do it,
Nothing to it,
You can learn to do it too.

Really ... ?

[[ music ]] Pat Boone - Speedy Gonzalez
[[ mood ]] Fucked.

5 comments