"Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the song of angry men?
It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again.
When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums,
there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes."
-Enjorlras in Les Miserables



Praise the Lord for Malaysiakini. And, I stayed up until it is confirmed that both the states which I am living in falls into the hands of the opposition. Then, I sighed a sigh of relief, stretched my arms, yawned a yawn, hugged my bright orange pillow and went to sleep - with a smile.

Malaysia is made out of more than nasi lemak and teh tarik (which are God sent) after all. It is made out of angry men and angry women who for a moment stood still, stood back and believed that one vote will and should make a difference. And, perhaps, for once in my short stay I saw the power of the electorate and the misery of the government.

To cheer and celebrate would be premature. Of course, we have all been specifically warned against that. But, why should we fear a victory or a defeat like we fear a war? Would a more proportionate distribution of power lead to a disruption of order?

Proportionate representation is not the same as proportionate development. And, I personally prefer the latter. I prefer controlled fuel prices; I prefer better schools and hospitals; I prefer less crime and I prefer a better standard of living. Racial representation is not the same as racial development.

Celebrations are premature because the appearance of diversity which promises parity has not yet been achieved in reality. So, it is promised that the best is yet to come. So, fly me to the moon when real development and diversity is achieved. Until then, the opposition is no better than the ruling majority. And, I plead that the coalition formed is not of convenience but of purpose.

But, I take the pleasure in rejoicing in the thought of the Malaysian belief that we can make a difference and that making a difference doesn't mean sitting at the mamak when you should be at the ballot box. I take pleasure not in the victory or the defeat of either party. In fact, if I really think about it, it matters very little to me who wins and who loses.

What matters to me is the revived knowledge and restored belief in democracy is not just a myth which lauds its appeal to the majority but a sytem of governance decided by the people and for the people. What matters to me is being a Malaysian means more than just sitting still and standing back. And, perhaps, this is one of those moments when someone should play the national anthem and I would stand tall and stand proudly.

Our elections are not very different from everyone else's. There has been scandals and there has been conspiracies. And, not one politician has stood out as a man or a woman whose undying love for the nation has led them to contest. We don't need any more of those who contest just to prove a point. And the point here is that some parties and some established politicians can be defeated. That, we all know.

I need and I want someone who could tell me with unwavering faith that being Malaysian is something to be proud of. I need someone to tell me a reason and not an excuse to stay in Malaysia and serve her.

But, it is a Malaysian election and I am a Malaysian. And, that has made all the difference.


Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade, is there a world you long to see?


Malaysia Boleh?

[[ music ]] Eva Cassidy - Fields of Gold
[[ mood ]] contemplative

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"My brother caught ant and placed it in a container. He started shaking and rattling it aggressively. Seeing that no effect has taken on the ant, his mischief coated mind hatches a new plot for the sorrow filled ant. He started collecting his favourite transformer toys. One by one he starts collecting and one by one he places them neatly within the container with the sorrow filled ant.

Then on a count of three, he RATTLES AND RATTLES the container till the ant had no escape. It must've pleaded for mercy to what it thinks is God. It cant survive with all the toys crammed into the small container and it is mashed with the jaws of the container.

After a minute of doing so, he opens the container in search of the corpse of the sorrowful ant. He finds it! It was stuck on the cover covered with its own slime. And my brother used his little finger to scrape the corpse of the poor sorrowful ant out. He smiles and laughs.

Oh. THE HUMANITY!"


Written by JN, sent to me by VN.



Once in a while, someone else's narrative genius deserves recognition.

For all those who thought and still think I am dramatic. Please ... welcome my sister.

Thank you.

[[ music ]] Ray Charles - Hit the Road Jack
[[ mood ]] entertained

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Pyrrhus, when his friends congratulated to him his victory over the Romans under Fabricius, but with great slaughter of his own side, said to them, “Yes; but if we have such another victory, we are undone.”
- Francis Bacon, Apothegms. No. 193.



Finally. And, yet - so empty;
And, the toast only a formality.

What a wait it has been. And, yet, it seems so --- empty.

Sometimes, you wonder if it is some kind of vidication. Most times, you wonder if such a vindication is worth a while. Most of the most times, you tell yourself it is not. And, perhaps, that is where the elusive emptiness lies - the belief that it is not worthwhile.

It should have been better.

And, had I fought I wonder. Or fought hard. Or knew what I was fighthing for. If it inded was some kind of vidication, vindication of what then? Was it mine alone or was it shared?

When have the lines been blurred beyond recognition? It was clear. Well, at least I thought it was clear. And, I should think it still could be clear. Yet, clarity seems so - meaninglessly empty. If there was a purpose and the purpose achieved, is that not some kind of accomplishment? Meaningless accomplishment - is that a paradox?

Frankly dear, I don't give a damn. That, may have been the most beautiful thing written in film history. Rhett Butler knows best.

My friends, thank you, but if we have such another victory, we are undone.

[[ music ]] Jane Monheit - More Than You Know
[[ mood ]] numb

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"Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart ."
- Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse of the Heart



Out of the clear blue sky, the lighting will strike - as it always does when you least expect it. Nature finds the strangest ways to make conversations. And yet, how rare it is that we listen - quietly.

I don't need it. But, it does not hurt to have someone to talk to. Rather, someone to listen. You don't need it. Sometimes, you just want it. So, you talk to yourself.

After all, only you will listen to yourself. And, what a waste of time I thought. Silence and its beauty could never truly be undertstood fully. So, in those silent conversations with yourself, you listen and you listen quietly. There is so little to say. But, it doesn't hurt to talk to someone else.

So, why is it so difficult?

You have to be close to hear the silence. And, you have to be near to understand what it means.


Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry


And, so ... why does it have to be so very difficult?

Because, even if you could listen, I could no longer share.

[[ music ]] Coldplay - Fix You
[[ mood ]] drained

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